Golf

Ian golfed A LOT this summer.  He was able to golf in the Tahoe Junior Tour (I know, VERY official).  Our good friend who is a Golf Pro put it together.   They got to golf all of the best courses in the North Lake area.  (Yes, Ian has golfed nicer courses than his parents now!)  They played by all PGA rules.  Each kid had to have a caddie, so Kevin and I took turns taking him.  The excitement that built up before every event was wild.  Ian could hardly control himself.  

 His best line of the summer was when his dad was caddying for him, Ian said with his hand out and palm facing up, "Dad, when I put my hand out like this, it means to give me a ball."  Hmmmm . . .

The Annual Scottish Festival

We had a fun-filled one weekend this Fall attending the Scottish Festival in the Bay Area.  We discovered our roots and connected with our ancestors by watching feats of strength and thousands of men walk around in kilts.  We ate countless meat pies, saw the sheepdog competition, and witnessed lots of clogging.  As Kevin would say "Fun was had by all!"

On a side note, Megan did lots of cheerleading over the weekend, so the boys decided to build a pyramid for her!

Grandma Carol and Hailey got to spend lots of time adoring one another.

Our (interrupted) Halloween

Our Halloween this year was interrupted by a little heart surgery.  However, the week before Halloween we always go to the Pumpkin Patch Party at the Elementary School.  So at least we got to see the kiddos in their costumes!  (Kevin's grandparents took the kids trick or treating while we were at the hospital with Hailey).

Megan was a GOOD witch (emphasis on GOOD).  Ian was a ninja and Hunter was Spiderman (not pictured unfortunately).  Hailey Bug was a cupcake.

I have no words to describe this . . .

'lil imagination

Hunter has quite the little imagination, especially since Ian and Meg started back to school.  He has come up with all sorts of things (especially since he refuses to watch more than 2 1/2 minutes of cartoons.  I'm a horrible mom, but come on, give me a break, just watch ONE episode of Dinosaur Train already!)

His latest game is turning the ottoman in his truck.  He has to have daddy's leather gloves on.  He goes to the dump and then to McDonalds for a diet coke.  Hmmmm,  who puts these ideas in his head?!

Ian's BMX race

Ian had a BMX bike race at Northstar.  He takes every competition (especially sports) seriously.  He was confident that he took second place, just behind a 3rd grader who was way bigger than him.  (This was a race where everyone got a medal and no one really "placed")  He was so pumped up about it that we just commended him on his 2nd Place finish.

 Coming around the 2nd turn.  Notice the fierceness in his eyes.

 Dad giving the pre-race pep talk.

Ian won a complete racing outfit after the race.  Shirt, pants, gloves, the whole shibang.  He's been feeling pretty professional lately!

My sweet stylin girl

Do you know what the latest fashion is?  Well, just ask me!  A faux fur vest, jeggings, and pink animal print shoes are all the rage!  Top it off with a sweet flower headband.  So chic!

Our sweet little heart patient

The past month of our lives has taken for a little ride, to say the least.  Mid October, I took Hailey in for her regular 6 month checkup.  The nurse practitioner told me that she had a heart murmur and referred me to a pediatric cardiologist to get an echocardiogram.  We got an appointment about a week and a half later with Dr. Kip.  I was fully expecting her to say that Hailey had an innocent heart murmur (which a large percentage of children have).  Unfortunately, she informed me that Hailey had coarctation of the aorta and that we had to go to Stanford Children's Hospital for urgent (not emergency, but urgent) heart surgery.  We were at Stanford within 3 days of the appointment with the cardiologist.

The day of surgery was the most excruciating day of our life.  I have never experienced that level of anxiety and literally thought I was going to have to be sedated (seriously, I know I'm sarcastic, but no sarcasm here, I thought they were going to have to put me out!)  We met with numerous doctors, nurses, surgeons, etc.  It seemed like each one of them had to tell us all the risks of her surgery, which is not a pleasant thing to hear.  Overall, the staff at the hospital took great care of her.  There is nothing to compare to handing your child to a nurse to take her into the OR for heart surgery.    She was away from us in surgery for 6 hours.  The. longest. six. hours. of. my. life.  There was no greater relief than to  watch the waiting room door to open and the surgeon come in and give us the "thumbs up".  I just sobbed and sobbed.  (Kevin didn't sob, but he cried.  And if you know my husband, THAT is a big deal.)  The surgeon, Dr. Hanley, met with us, answered all our questions, and let us know that everything went as well as possible.

Hailey was taken to the CVICU where she had her own dedicated nurse for 5 days, then to intermediate care for 3 days before we were released.  She is now home and happy and I don't think she remembers a thing.  (It is her parents who will have the experience indelibly imprinted on their brains.)  She is on a few medications, 5 times a day, and we are hoping that she won't have to be on high blood pressure medication her whole life.

This experience has changed me.  Really, really changed me.  I cannot fathom going through this without the knowledge the Jesus Christ lives, loves me, and knows what I'm feeling.  I'm so grateful for the knowledge that my family can be together forever.  We love our children and feel overwhelmingly blessed this Christmas season that our sweet Hailey is happy, healthy, and home with us.

Hailey right before surgery.  She was not a happy camper because she couldn't eat for 8 hours before and her surgery was at 4 in the afternoon.

 The day after surgery (I'll spare you the pictures of immediately after surgery.)

 She spent five days in the CVICU. (Cardiovascular Intensive Care Unit)

Daddy reading books.  Hailey got lots of attention of course.  We probably read the same 5 books, 2,346 times.  She loved it.

My mom with Hailey and Hunter the day we were released from the hospital.  

We could not have done this without all the help we received from family and friends.  Kevin's parents took the other children for the entire time we were gone.  The kids were completely happy and spoiled the whole time.  Kevin and I stayed with Brian and Wendy (Kevin's brother and family), who live close to Stanford.  They were incredible to us.  I know that we were like a hurricane at their house and they just did everything they could to help.  Wendy is an incredible cook and had fabulous meals for us every night (like prime rib and lobster kind of meals!).  And then, my mom, of course, who is always there for me.  She flew in and stayed with us the week after we got home.  I couldn't do my life without her.  We love you all and are so, so, grateful.

Two brains

Meg:  Mom, why do we have two brains?
Me:  We don't honey, we just have one brain.
Meg:  Ohhh, that must be why I'm SO smart,  because I have two brains.

(Me:  chuckle, snort, giggle)

David's 4th Anniversary

Today is the 4th anniversary of the birth/death of our little boy, David Stanley.    We love him, we miss him, we know he loves us and know he is exactly where he is supposed to be, with His Savior, and his best buddy, Warner.  

I recently had the opportunity to write a letter to a niece of a friend of our family who had my same experience.  Here is what I wrote:

I just wept for you when I saw the email from your Aunt Pam about your sweet little baby boy.  It has been 4 years since we lost our little boy, David, in much the same way that you did.  I went in for my 39 week Doctor’s appointment and he was gone.  All testing showed that he was perfectly healthy, they never found a reason for him not making it.  I know very intimately what you are going through and how difficult it is.  I’d never actually physically felt my heart hurt and literally broken before I had that experience. 

A few things that have been helpful to me:

I realized that I will never fully heal from this until I actually see my little boy in the next life.  Undoubtedly, the sadness has lessened over the past 4 years, but I will still shed tears for him when I am 90 years old.

I know that God is in control.  He created the heavens and the earth, He commands the wind and the sea, He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving and yet He chose not to save your little boy.  Obviously, there is a reason that He wanted it this way.

Losing your little boy will make your future children more precious to you. You realize what a miracle it is to have them in the first place, and what a blessing you have been given to raise them here on earth.

The following quote has helped me through many sleepless nights:  “The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again.”
Joseph Smith.  

This past 4 years has been very difficult, but it has gotten so much easier.  We are certainly happier because of this tragedy in our lives.  I know that sounds crazy, but I’m really a happier person because of the knowledge I’ve gained of Heavenly Father’s deep concern and love for each of us.  I have also learned greater compassion for all those around me.

I know that this letter might not help, but I hope it will bring you comfort to know that someone else who has gone through the same experience is making it through and is finding joy in her life again.

I am thinking of you,

Amanda Smith

Hailey Bug update

 Our little darling is 5 months old.  She loves to giggle, drool and suck on her toes.  She is the only one of our kids who got her daddy's beautiful blue eyes.  Her siblings ADORE her and are warned multiple times a day about "not squeezing too tight" and "don't smother" and "quit sticking your finger up her nose", things of that nature.  She is a very mellow, peaceful baby who doesn't like to exert too much physical energy (i.e. no rolling over yet, won't straighten her legs to stand, content just to "be".)  We love our little lazy bug!

 Meg likes to play school with Hailey.  She reads her books, sings to her, and generally entertains her.

First day of School

I remember being so upset when my mom and her girlfriends would have a party when all the kids went back to school.  That's right, a "Hallejuilah Our Lives Can Go On and the Kids Are Finally Out of our Hair" Party.  Unbelievable, I thought.  Don't they LIKE having us home?  Aren't we the center of their somewhat dull lives?

NOPE.

Hallejuilah my life can go on, the kids are finally out of my hair!

(Okay, I am kidding, I really do enjoy having my children home, but boy were we in desperate need of a routine around these here parts!)

 Meggie Moo told her teacher on the first day that she has a "Really good brain in her head."  

Good to know.

Ian has been giving lessons to Meg all summer to prepare her for Kindergarten.  The latest lesson was this:  "Okay Meg, you have to exercise A LOT for Kindergarten.  So, we are going to run around the kitchen table 7 times, then the (kitchen) island 10 times.  Then we run downstairs, through the window and into the backyard."

Meg is totally in the best shape for Kindergarten.

 Ian is our big 1st grader and according to two of my girlfriends, he got the best teacher in the district!  Whoot! Whoot!  

Meg just sitting there on her first day with her "really good brain".

We had a fun back to school dinner night complete with Navajo Tacos and Sugar Cookies.  Kevin gave the kids Father's blessings and we talked about their goals for the year.  Which mainly consisted of making new friends :)

Summer vacation in Montana

All summer the kids anxiously anticipated the big plane trip to Montana.  I was a little nervous to fly by myself with 4 kiddos, but they did great.  They even clapped and cheered when the plane took off.  I had their backpacks packed with lots of new books, workbooks, and enough candy to feed all of Santa's elves.  Don't judge me.

Huey, Dewey, and Lewey

The Three Amigos

The Three Musketeers

Snap, Crackle and Pop

Our favorite thing of the entire trip was meeting our new little cousins, Dax and Barrett!  We already miss them.   Hailey is much older than them (5 days).

 "Blampa" Jim and Hailey Bug.

 The boys  before a big golf day.

Uncle Nate officially become the favorite when he brought a Youth size ATV for the kids.  Here  is Ian thinking he is pretty "Hot Stuff".  It had a governor on it that only allowed it to go 15 mph or so.  Ian begged and begged the whole trip to have us loosen up the governor.  (I think Grandpa loosened it up for him.)

 The most wonderful man I know with his great-grand daughter.

 Meg and her Idol, Sophie.  We talk about Sophie ALL of the time.  Meg was so excited to go to the Oasis waterpark with her.

 We had a Big Family Reunion in Wyoming, where I didn't take many pictures.  Here we are headed out on a hike.

 "Glamma" Marjie gave the kids cooking classes.  They loved it.  Now the kids have decided that they are entitiled to cooking classes at least 3 times a week!  (which I don't mind at all :)

 The boys spent many hours with Grandpa on his tractors. (Most of the tractors are much larger than this one :)

 We went to the Montana State Fair, where I had some serious nostalgia.  I worked there in high school and made enough Navajo Tacos to, well, feed all of Santa's elves.

 My parents' neighbors let us ride their horses.  This is Brownie.  We LOVE Brownie.  I had a little itch to get a horse when we got back to California.  It went away quickly.

The kids spent a lot of time in my mom's incredible garden.  Get a load of this zuchini!  The kids would squeal with excitement when they picked potatoes, or found another pumpkin.  Too bad I didn't inherit my mother's green thumb.  I have big time major goals for next summer.

Thanks to Grandpa and Grandma for a wonderful summer trip!