Two brains

Meg:  Mom, why do we have two brains?
Me:  We don't honey, we just have one brain.
Meg:  Ohhh, that must be why I'm SO smart,  because I have two brains.

(Me:  chuckle, snort, giggle)

David's 4th Anniversary

Today is the 4th anniversary of the birth/death of our little boy, David Stanley.    We love him, we miss him, we know he loves us and know he is exactly where he is supposed to be, with His Savior, and his best buddy, Warner.  

I recently had the opportunity to write a letter to a niece of a friend of our family who had my same experience.  Here is what I wrote:

I just wept for you when I saw the email from your Aunt Pam about your sweet little baby boy.  It has been 4 years since we lost our little boy, David, in much the same way that you did.  I went in for my 39 week Doctor’s appointment and he was gone.  All testing showed that he was perfectly healthy, they never found a reason for him not making it.  I know very intimately what you are going through and how difficult it is.  I’d never actually physically felt my heart hurt and literally broken before I had that experience. 

A few things that have been helpful to me:

I realized that I will never fully heal from this until I actually see my little boy in the next life.  Undoubtedly, the sadness has lessened over the past 4 years, but I will still shed tears for him when I am 90 years old.

I know that God is in control.  He created the heavens and the earth, He commands the wind and the sea, He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving and yet He chose not to save your little boy.  Obviously, there is a reason that He wanted it this way.

Losing your little boy will make your future children more precious to you. You realize what a miracle it is to have them in the first place, and what a blessing you have been given to raise them here on earth.

The following quote has helped me through many sleepless nights:  “The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again.”
Joseph Smith.  

This past 4 years has been very difficult, but it has gotten so much easier.  We are certainly happier because of this tragedy in our lives.  I know that sounds crazy, but I’m really a happier person because of the knowledge I’ve gained of Heavenly Father’s deep concern and love for each of us.  I have also learned greater compassion for all those around me.

I know that this letter might not help, but I hope it will bring you comfort to know that someone else who has gone through the same experience is making it through and is finding joy in her life again.

I am thinking of you,

Amanda Smith

Hailey Bug update

 Our little darling is 5 months old.  She loves to giggle, drool and suck on her toes.  She is the only one of our kids who got her daddy's beautiful blue eyes.  Her siblings ADORE her and are warned multiple times a day about "not squeezing too tight" and "don't smother" and "quit sticking your finger up her nose", things of that nature.  She is a very mellow, peaceful baby who doesn't like to exert too much physical energy (i.e. no rolling over yet, won't straighten her legs to stand, content just to "be".)  We love our little lazy bug!

 Meg likes to play school with Hailey.  She reads her books, sings to her, and generally entertains her.

First day of School

I remember being so upset when my mom and her girlfriends would have a party when all the kids went back to school.  That's right, a "Hallejuilah Our Lives Can Go On and the Kids Are Finally Out of our Hair" Party.  Unbelievable, I thought.  Don't they LIKE having us home?  Aren't we the center of their somewhat dull lives?

NOPE.

Hallejuilah my life can go on, the kids are finally out of my hair!

(Okay, I am kidding, I really do enjoy having my children home, but boy were we in desperate need of a routine around these here parts!)

 Meggie Moo told her teacher on the first day that she has a "Really good brain in her head."  

Good to know.

Ian has been giving lessons to Meg all summer to prepare her for Kindergarten.  The latest lesson was this:  "Okay Meg, you have to exercise A LOT for Kindergarten.  So, we are going to run around the kitchen table 7 times, then the (kitchen) island 10 times.  Then we run downstairs, through the window and into the backyard."

Meg is totally in the best shape for Kindergarten.

 Ian is our big 1st grader and according to two of my girlfriends, he got the best teacher in the district!  Whoot! Whoot!  

Meg just sitting there on her first day with her "really good brain".

We had a fun back to school dinner night complete with Navajo Tacos and Sugar Cookies.  Kevin gave the kids Father's blessings and we talked about their goals for the year.  Which mainly consisted of making new friends :)

Summer vacation in Montana

All summer the kids anxiously anticipated the big plane trip to Montana.  I was a little nervous to fly by myself with 4 kiddos, but they did great.  They even clapped and cheered when the plane took off.  I had their backpacks packed with lots of new books, workbooks, and enough candy to feed all of Santa's elves.  Don't judge me.

Huey, Dewey, and Lewey

The Three Amigos

The Three Musketeers

Snap, Crackle and Pop

Our favorite thing of the entire trip was meeting our new little cousins, Dax and Barrett!  We already miss them.   Hailey is much older than them (5 days).

 "Blampa" Jim and Hailey Bug.

 The boys  before a big golf day.

Uncle Nate officially become the favorite when he brought a Youth size ATV for the kids.  Here  is Ian thinking he is pretty "Hot Stuff".  It had a governor on it that only allowed it to go 15 mph or so.  Ian begged and begged the whole trip to have us loosen up the governor.  (I think Grandpa loosened it up for him.)

 The most wonderful man I know with his great-grand daughter.

 Meg and her Idol, Sophie.  We talk about Sophie ALL of the time.  Meg was so excited to go to the Oasis waterpark with her.

 We had a Big Family Reunion in Wyoming, where I didn't take many pictures.  Here we are headed out on a hike.

 "Glamma" Marjie gave the kids cooking classes.  They loved it.  Now the kids have decided that they are entitiled to cooking classes at least 3 times a week!  (which I don't mind at all :)

 The boys spent many hours with Grandpa on his tractors. (Most of the tractors are much larger than this one :)

 We went to the Montana State Fair, where I had some serious nostalgia.  I worked there in high school and made enough Navajo Tacos to, well, feed all of Santa's elves.

 My parents' neighbors let us ride their horses.  This is Brownie.  We LOVE Brownie.  I had a little itch to get a horse when we got back to California.  It went away quickly.

The kids spent a lot of time in my mom's incredible garden.  Get a load of this zuchini!  The kids would squeal with excitement when they picked potatoes, or found another pumpkin.  Too bad I didn't inherit my mother's green thumb.  I have big time major goals for next summer.

Thanks to Grandpa and Grandma for a wonderful summer trip!